Our perfectly dysfunctional marriage

by on February 17, 2013 » Add more comments.

We thought our marriage was fine

We looked really good on the outside.

But God knew there was something wrong.

So he brought it to our attention.

It wasn’t pretty.

He even used Anne of Green Gables.

And it worked.

Click on the video to hear what happened.

To live a transformed life you need to allow God to change you.

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Now I want to hear from you

How has God improved your marriage? Just leave your comments in the box below.

Our perfectly dysfunctional marriage

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24 comments Add your comment »

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Ramesh Naraine
February 20, 2013
7:54 am

Kathy looked radiant and beautiful! Plus, nice example of transparency guys. Blessings!

Dr. Grant Mullen
February 20, 2013
7:57 am

Thanks Ramesh. We need to get honest with ourselves and each other. It’s the best path to healing.

Alma Siemens
February 20, 2013
5:55 pm

That is a wonderfully candid interview. Praise the Lord for His grace and mercy. May your story and ministry free others to have the kind of marriages that demonstrate His love.

Pat Moulton
February 20, 2013
6:44 pm

My husband is convinced he is fine. He has helped me with my baggage but never discloses his (oh, did I say he is fine?). We live separate lives and intersect at breakfast. He took me to counseling for years that never helped. I was always the problem. We were both widowed in our 30s. He had 4 young kids and I had 3. We are now in our 60s.

Dr. Grant Mullen
February 20, 2013
9:16 pm

Pat that is a difficult situation. I’m available if you’d like to discuss it with me at a coaching appointment. You can learn about that here: http://drgrantmullen.com/coaching/
Blessings GM

February 21, 2013
6:49 am

Well sonny, you hit the nail on the head in relationships. Adam and Eve had God and they still went wrong in their relationship. In any relationship, you have to start with a clean house. When Jesus is not the counselor, then bad vibes resonate. Too bad marriage candidates don’t clean house and remove baggage full of hinderances. May be you could teach high schoolers this.
46 years and still clearing out the cob webs in the corners. Jesus is still loving the” crap of the world ” out of me.


February 21, 2013
12:30 pm

My husband and I have just reached the point you describe in this video. We thought things were great except for one thing. We’ve started attending counseling and I’ve been diagnosed with intimacy anorexia (or sexual anorexia). My husband isn’t a believer but this interview has given me hope and reminded me to have faith on my Lord to finish his work in me and my family. Thank you.

Dr. Grant Mullen
February 21, 2013
12:53 pm

Thanks Naomi. Yes there is always hope when you are working with God.

February 21, 2013
5:17 pm

I think that it’s awesome the way God works. Because you both took time to help others with their relationship issues and help them deal with their baggage so they could be emotionally free, when you faced a crisis in your marriage, the Holy Spirit brought you the right counselor so that you could be emotionally free and help others in a greater capacity than before, because now you can both speak from your heart and share your personal testimony of restoration rather than textbook knowledge, to hurting people everywhere.Reminds me of the Scripture that says pray ye for one another that YOU might be healed..what we make happen for others,God makes happen for us.God bless..

February 21, 2013
7:44 pm

Hi Dr Grant
I really enjoyed this video. It was lovely to see you and Kathy so candid. I am single but appreciate seeing a married couple model triumph through vulnerability!

Dr. Grant Mullen
February 21, 2013
7:53 pm

Yes, we’re pretty normal average people. Glad you enjoyed it.

Xinger Zheng
February 22, 2013
3:19 pm

Awesome video, Dr. Grant!

February 26, 2013
10:54 pm

God bless you both. Thanks for sharing a Little wisdom on married life.

March 3, 2013
5:38 pm

Grant & Kathy, I have watched your videos each week and love them. But this one hit the nail. Its only been 6 weeks ago, I really felt this overwhelming sense, in all our 28 years of marriage I had never felt before: I wanted out. It was awful. My husband is (probably being judgmental here) probably not a ‘practicing christian’, and he thinks he is fine. I suddenly am not happy with ‘being content’. I know that God is changing me all the time. God and I do spend alot of time together. I know if I keep praying and doing the things God asks me to do….there is hope. Thanks for your story.

Dr. Grant Mullen
March 3, 2013
5:41 pm

There is always hope Donna.
I’m available if you want to discuss the situation with me at a coaching appointment.

March 16, 2013
3:37 pm

This was excellent. Doug and I just watched it and then shared it with another couple! Thank you both.

Dr. Grant Mullen
March 16, 2013
3:52 pm

Thanks Heather. I’m glad you found it helpful.

Debbie Still
March 27, 2013
11:15 am

I just watched your testimony and can identify to this for myself/marriage. I have a question that I believe you answered; but would like confirmation again. Can freedom happen in a marriage if only one person is getting councelled? I am codependant and would like freedom from this. We’ve been married 27 years.

Dr. Grant Mullen
March 27, 2013
11:38 am

Yes Debbie, there can be big improvements if one person is helped. The improvement can also encourage the other spouse to get help too.

Dave Hoff
October 1, 2015
12:11 pm

Grant and Cathy, very encouraging video. Your comment about how the kids change as we change has been my experience also. It’s wonderful to have those relationships improve without direct attention–it just how God makes things work.

I have embedded in my memory and referred to it many times–your simple but profound definition of Baggage– It is: the composite of ALL of your life experiences and what you BELIEVE about them.

How we live is based on what we believe and if we believe lies we live as if the lies were true and away we go into a disconnect with reality.

Thanks a bunch for your insight and testimony!

Dave in MN

Lynda Jacobs
January 2, 2016
8:35 pm

Hi Grant, thanks so much (to Kathy too) for sharing this video. I guess I haven’t actually seen you since 2007.

January 16, 2016
2:57 pm

Interesting you should mention sweeping out cobwebs. I had a vision when I ask God to enter any room in my heart that I had not opened before. He opened a creaky barn door that I didn’t even know was there. It was a dark and dusty room. So he took a broom and it was one that I recognized it was on my porch and he swept out the cobwebs with that broom. So I looked and it was a very comfortable barn room there was a chicken sitting on a nest on her eggs a brown chicken very content to sit there and there were kitties playing on the floor and scrambling up up a post and just playing and there was another door. It was the door to my throne room.

Gail Smith
June 8, 2016
11:21 am

I’ve watched many of your videos. Thanks for believing in the fact that we are not “Christian enough” when we need emotional help! My husband and me did our counselling separately and not through a “Christian” avenue but we learned principles that were totally bible based and changed our lives and our marriage. I’m so very thankful for counsellors! Keep up the good work.

June 16, 2017
11:59 am

Encouraged. After 39 years of marriage we are where you were at. Highly functional power couple on the outside, emotionally distant and disconnected inside. Praying for answers…

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