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Is self esteem a sin?
How can you have healthy self esteem and not slide into pride?
How can you stay humble but still have a good self esteem?
It seems like we are stuck in the middle of conflicting Biblical commands.
So what is the answer? How can we maintain a proper balance?
This week I use Kathy as my test subject to demonstrate how to solve this dilemma.
In this video you will learn the difference between humility, pride and healthy self esteem.
Just click on the video and start feeling good about yourself. You’ll also learn about Kathy’s worship art.
To live a transformed life you should have a healthy self esteem because Jesus is living in and through you.
You can see Kathy’s worship art by clicking here or visiting liftedup.ca
Now I want to hear from you
How do you keep a healthy self esteem from sliding into pride? Just leave your comments in the box below.
If you’d like to learn how to have healthy self esteem and accept yourself, come join us in Free Your Mind and do the course, Loving the Real You.
Free Your Mind is our personal healing and transformation program.
Click here to learn more.
If you’d like to work with Dr. Grant 1:1 click here to learn more.
I’ll talk to you next week,
Grant
Comments 24
Thank you so much for this sound bite. This is what I’m struggling with so much right now. As a child if I exhibited pride my parents would punish me by completely destroying pride. They did to me what had been done to them by their parents. Unfortunately, being very sensitive it took a real toll along with other things that happened in my life as well.
As I got older my mother in particular tried to boost my self esteem, but my ears were unable to hear and accept these words of love and wisdom.
I’m now struggling, with God’s help to have the correct balance in my self esteem. He’s been helping me right in the areas of my life where I hurt the most.
He is so wonderful.
Thank you for being a part of that healing process.
Anne Smith
Again many, many thanks for your help with this wonderful website.
Anne
I have always had a very hard time having the right level of self esteem. I really feel encouraged by your video clips and the info they have. I was taught that any self esteem (whether low or high) is pride. when having been taught that for 20 years it takes a number of years to undo such teaching. Keep the video clips coming. How do you deal with a high level of stress and anxiety attacks?
You guys are a hoot !! AND really do get the point across. :o)
It’s been a number of years now, the result of some loving help, that I’ve been able to stand back and observe creative works which flow from my heart and hands and – eyes wide – go, “Wowww …. You let me DO that, Lord. You made me able…. did it through me … that is SO COOL!”, and regard it with the delight, surprise, fascination or appreciation a third party might express. It can be a tiny, on-the-moment happening which no one else observes, or the many yards I’ve landscaped without being “trained” or papered to do so, or a sewing project that develops in the mind and imagination that I simply am not capable of, without God’s inspiration and step by step instruction, or …..
He gets full credit, and with that truth, I can unreservedly clap and dance at the result. Well, maybe not like a child at a playground, but mentally, like the reserved and (ahem!) proper adult I’ve morphed into.
It took awhile to get over the embarrassment of being good at something, since attention and compliment felt uncomfortable. I’d quckly change the subject, because my nature prefers the comfort of being invisible. Fact is, I didn’t know how to receive the gift extended, the sincere praise and thanks for a job well done.
I need not the praise, notice, nor admiration of others for this simple satisfaction — that the Master Artist delights in co-working with and through us to bring forth something enjoyed either in secret ( like hidden yards where, I think, the angels come rest and have coffee break ) or something that is seen by others’ eyes and is for their use.
Thanks for the important reminder that we ALL have His creative spark installed within. It’s a heavenly intelligence that needs to be let out to play, to bless others and Him, and an important gift and quality to encourage in one another.
Thanks for these great comments. It can take some time to realize that it’s God’s will for you to feel good about yourself. He feels good about you so why shouldn’t you. He gave each of us different talents and abilities that we should use and appreciate. And yes, learn how to accept compliments. They are just another reflection of how God feels about you.
I am on the low self-esteem end of the spectrum. I was complemented on doing a good job singing and playing the guitar and I wiggled and squirmed around saying everything but thank you. Luckily the Pastor was there and said “Just say thank you” and I now know that that is all I have to say.
Yes, thank you is the right answer. Then go and feel good about it for a week.
I was just having that little conflict in my mind seconds before I went on the computer. I have always been so afraid of being proud ( it’s so ugly to me ) and confused when I received a compliment. No, not confused, fearful. “NOW what do I do with myself” feeling, a sense of pressure, tension and thoughts that led to me thinking that I’ll let them down. They count on me ( my success was a fluke ) and I will DEFINITELY not be able to reproduce that level of creativity or whatever skill again. Compliments were few and far between in my home and always had a hook to them. So, I insist now in standing firmly, calmly with my success, remembering to say “thank you” with a smile and quietly ( and later, out loud ) thank God and move on.
The one area that I am now tackling is my weight. I was often approached by men and their come-ons were scary to me. So, as the pounds come off I reassure myself of who I am in Christ, holding on for dear life!
That’s totally understandable Gael. If compliments always came with a hook or baggage then I see why you would be afraid of them. But the good news is that now you can be free of that baggage and start to enjoy them.
Looks like it worked for several people for sure–
At this point I am learning the true meaning of self esteem, thanks to you Dr. Mullen and the pastor from my church. I ask an interest in your prayers as i’ve been going through the last 4 weeks of extreme heart racing and exhaustion. They believe that more or less it is anxiety attacks due to the emotional abuse I recently escaped. Thanks in advance for your prayers and support.
Thank you Grant and Kathy for the visual explanation on pride. I really liked how you pointed out that pride always involves comparison. I have a further question, when someone is putting you down with their sarcasm (they get pleasure out of putting you down, in order to elevate themselves) is this a form of pride?
Thank you both for your very simple and clear presentation of pride vs. self esteem! I loved it and I loved seeing Kathy’s work! I will be a fan! Praying for you both!!
Very interesting question Debbie. Putting others down can be a form of pride since it uses comparisons to make them look better.
In my experience, that behavior is usually a defense mechanism for someone with low self esteem. As long as they are putting others down, they feel a bit superior which briefly eases their feeling of shame and insignificance.
Humans sure are complicated!
Glad you enjoyed seeing Kathy’s banners Gay Nell.
Thanks so much for your prayers!!
Thanks Grant & Kathy I truly enjoyed seeing Kathy’s art and the terrific presentation of self-esteem & pride in a more healthy way. Keep up the good work and looking forward to the next newsletter!
What an awesome illustration of pride versus poor self-esteem.I have been on both ends of the spectrum.I went from very poor self esteem because of the way I was raised and the lies I believed growing up , to having a chip on my shoulder as an adult.But at the root of it was horrible insecurity and shame because of abuse.Now my self- esteem is much more healthier and I am able to appreciate compliments without putting myself down or puffing myself up.But it sure took me a while to get there because of all the emotional baggage I had been carrying.I’m stiil a work in progress but I’m so thankful the Lord has been showing me how to overcome this dysfunction through His Word and through teachings like this on your website.God bless you both.
You’re right Glory, it’s a baggage issue. We are all a work in progress. Transformation is a lifelong journey that God loves to walk us through.
Glad you are making so much progress.
All my life I have allways had a problem knowing what is pride. Thats because I have ADD. So I can be proud and not know it. I watched the vidio and I can see the differences although the 2nd and 3rd takes sounded almost the same. I guess I will have to re-watch the vidio several times to get an idea. Thats usualy the way I learn.
HI,
JUST WANTED TO SHARE MY COMMENT ON THE SELF-ESTEEM VIDEO
VERY HELPFUL TO SEE THE DIFFERENCE ON “WHAT IS LOW SELF-ESTEEM AND WHAT IS SELF-ESTEEM.”
I ENJOYED TO SEE THE VIDEO ON CREATIVITY AS WELL !
TO KNOW THAT “EVERYONE” HAS CREATIVITY SOME WAY OR OTHER !
IT SHOWED ME THAT CREATIVITY IS JUST NOT IN MUSIC OR ART WORK BUT ALSO CREATIVITY IS SHOWN IN A PARK WHEN ONE IS AT PLAY, USING “CREATIVITY” , “CREATIVE THOUGHTS”.
I AGREE WITH DR. GRANT MULLEN WHEN ONE IS TOLD OVER AND OVER AGAIN THE “NEGATIVE” TALK ONE RECEIVES NEGATIVE “THINKING” “THOUGHTS.”
IT IS SO “UN – HEALTHY.” IT EFFECTS EMOTIONAL STATE AND SELF-ESTEEM.
MY QUESTION WOULD BE “DOES THE “ABUSER” “BULLY” BASICLLY ALL THIS COMING FROM THE “DEVIL” IS IT ALL “PRIDE” THAT THESE TYPE OF PEOPLE HAVE OR AND “FEAR?”
MAY GOD BLESS EVERYONE WHO IS GETTING HELP FROM DR. MULLEN AND MAY GOD BLESS DR. GRANT MULLEN AND FAMILY!
SINCERELY,
ELIZABETH
Good question Elizabeth. In my experience bullies are usually acting out of low self esteem rather than pride. They need to put others down to make themselves feel better briefly.
Hi, Grant and Kathy! Love your videos! The explanations of the various issues are very clear. I have a question. How should one respond to someone of either the extreme of pride or low self-esteem? My dad is the epitome of the pride example and my mom is sometimes the epitome of the opposite. Thanks.
Oh, yes! Forgot to tell Kathy that I love that fire banner!!
Connie, I think you try to ignore the prideful one and encourage the one with low self esteem. I’ll tell Kathy you liked the banner. Go to her web site and see the rest of them.