Did you get angry?

Dr. Grant Mullen Churches and Leadership, I am significant, Live fearlessly, Moods, Relationships, Uncategorized 22 Comments

Do you have a problem with anger?

Now calm down! Don’t take it personally. Maybe you know someone who needs this.
But do you get angry more often than you should?
Come on, admit it. Of course you do. I do.
So what makes you angry? How do you deal with it?
I want my remote!

I want my remote!

To live a transformed life you must know how to deal with anger.
Just click on the video and let it all out.

Then go to the comment section below and tell me, in your experience, what has been the most effective way to control your anger? We all need more tools to deal with anger. Share your methods with the rest of us.

Share the transformed life, send this to a friend.

Don’t forget to answer this week’s polling question, Anger management should include….

You are all invited to come and see us August 6-7 in Alliston (near Toronto), Canada, at the Freedom In Christ conference hosted by Dr. Neil Anderson. For more information click The Core of Christianity Conference.

 

Talk to you next week,
Grant Mullen

Comments 22

  1. Dr. Mullen, Unless I misunderstood you, you seem to be saying that anger is a waste of energy. Any thoughts about how to address anger that is due to others’ taking advantage of you? Or a supervisor at work triangulating you with others and putting you in a postion to do their work? How does one be angry, seems to be an appropriate emotional response to these situations, but not sin. Please address. Thank you.

  2. I have always had a problem with anger and did EVERYTHING I could for years to overcome it without improvement. When I read Dr. Mullen’s book, I realized I had a mood disorder with chronic irritability that impaired my life. Since I started medication 3 years ago, I have had control over my anger, because my chronic irritability in mood is gone. THANK YOU DR. MULLEN!

  3. Thanks, Dr. Mullen, for addressing an oh-so common ailment of our human condition. Self focused anger is indeed both debilitating for us and relationally devastating in our homes, workplace and communities. And believers are not exempt! In our faith communities, our pasted smiles often belie a seething spirit. And because we feel quilty we try to put a cap on it….and have just as much success as BP has had in the Gulf!

    I do appreciate the candor of Anna who spoke of her struggle in this very context. As I read her account I could not help but visualize the woundedness of her heart and her resort to anger as a form of protection. My encouragement for her and us all is to recognize that, “this dying to self” occurred when we were placed “in Christ” (ie, not our own doing) and that the healing for our woundedness was provided there as well (as prophesied in Isaiah 61:1-3).

  4. I know that we can get angry and sin not. We can get angry with abusive behaviour and sinful misconduct, but when it overcomes us we feel that the power we felt being angry actually leaves us powerless in the end. To me anger is the grieving of loss of power of controlling a situation. So, it goes back to allowing our weakness to bring God into the scene and have Him take control in order to see better end-results. It is a process of labouring to enter into HIs rest and ceasing from our efforts.

  5. Hey, I really think that sharing our frustrations with a trusted friend is a good road to recovery, because when we air these, these somehow lose their sting and God can stop that nagging feeling inside. When I read the Psalms, I see that David, who did not seem to have a father who would listen and help him, called out his honest complaint to God. All out as it really was! We then read how he gradually came around to a place of utter worship to God his loving heavenly father. Way to go! Even when my mother & father forsake me (and I hope they wont) the Lord will take me up!

  6. Great comments and advice! It’s such a common problem. We need to share our solutions with each other. Good point about how treating a mood disorder like depression can reduce irritability and make anger much easier to control. You folks are amazing.

  7. Thank you for this teaching. I have found through my life the solution to anger is to forgive.
    When anger comes often and you don’t know why or where it comes from.
    Such as as you said when your button gets pushed and it will.
    I have found that if you go to Holy Spirit and ask when the firsttime anger entered my lif.
    Then wait for Him to show you, through a picture a word a name or stituation that happened in your life..
    When the answer comes, deal with it by forgiving the person that hurt you or your feelings.
    Then take an imaginary axe and cut the root.
    Then pull the root out and place it behind the cross.
    For what is behind the cross must stay there.
    Usualy when you deal with the first bout of anger the button can not be pushed again.

    Blesings
    Dick

  8. Thank you kindly for video input….I am currently addressing root of my anger..and await Holy SPirit to restore my heart with love and forgiveness….Blessings to you.
    Denise

  9. Dr. Grant – you always bring forth such good teaching for us. I get angry and stew when there has been an injustice done to me but there have been times I have been able to remember that God says “vengeance is Mine – I will repay.” But other times I keep rehashing it over and over in my mind………… – again and again and again (I must be a slow learner). which I guess is robbing God, because He’s in control – not me…………Another thing I sometimes try to remember is the verse about the “plank in my own eye” but again sometimes I just downright fail……………..but I like the inner peace I have when I “give it ALL to Him” even if I have to do it millions of times in a day……….

  10. Thanks Grant for this excellent word on ANGER. The quality of this video was superior. Thanks again for your ministry. God bless, Alistair

  11. This is for Mary who left the first comment. I’m sorry I didn’t get to your answer faster…too many comments to keep up with.
    There is no doubt that when you are treated unjustly and the situation is out of your control, that’s a recipe for anger. I’ve felt that too. Increasing unresolved frustration leads to anger. The first step is to see if there are any options for you to correct the injustice with supervisors or someone in a position of authority. Do what is doable. Failing that you can only forgive and move on, perhaps to a new job if necessary. It’s often wise to talk to a counsellor when it involves important relationships that can’t just be abandoned. Hope that helps. It’s not an easy situation.

  12. Thank you for your perspective, Dr. Mullen and for taking the time to address my question. I have been working with someone (a therapist), and completely agree with the things you and others say about forgiveness. It is critical for us to keep short accounts.

  13. Yes I do yell when I am angry. The more appropriate response is to listen then make a positive comment without the aggression. Practice makes it happen.

  14. I have struggled with anger my entire life. See… I’m a redhead and growing up people thought my temper was cute or even expected. I got away with a lot and I learned to use my temper as a way to “get things done”.

    This video has helped reinforce a lot of what I’ve learned since I had kids and I needed to learn not only how to control my own temper, but teach my kids how to control their tempers as well.

  15. hi dr mullen,thanks for posting your video…it does remind me that i have a problem with anger,several years ago i spent time in prison for injuring people with my unresolved anger and frustration,and these days since i recieved some much needed counselling, ive become a little easier to be around,but i feel i need to get on with the dealing with emotional baggage as its still weighing me down and possibly stopping me from having some healthy relationships…does god really want to hear about my emotional baggage?

  16. When does a question become (or it”s original intent was actually) an accusation? For example a person comes home from a difficult day at work …is asked by their spouse “how was your day?” You respond with the truth about how you had a series of dissapointments, unreasonable client demands , boss on your case, previous sales orders cancelled without explanation or known cause, etc.etc. (pick any number of issues) Instead of hearing something like “I’m sorry to hear that your day was frustrating for you” the response is more like “and why didn’t you ……..do it this way……or do it that way or why did you not call them back and confront them or handle it differently (implication — the way I would have) etc etc etc. Get my drift? Another way to make a point (accusation towards someone) is by asking the same question over and over again (after they have already responded to it) until you have exausted (frustrated) the other person into complete silence. Why can’t people see that this kind of “being helpfull” is not …by asking pointed questions in response to someone who is tired and dejected is not helpfull. Constructive critisizim becomes constant critisizim … that would be like asking the man who was found beaten on the side of the road what he did to deserve such treatment. (inferring it was his “fault” he caused his present condition had brought it upon himself. No compassion required here, I can just shake the dust from my sandles and walk on by)

  17. Yes Justin. It’s hard to believe but God is actually interested in our baggage. Specifically, he’s most interested in removing it as he did to your sins. He never gets tired of hearing from us and he wants to help. You need to discuss your baggage with a counsellor or with me at a coaching appointment https://drgrantmullen.com/coaching/
    We can show you how God wants to take your baggage away forever. You’ll feel much better (and lighter) after.

  18. When upset and angry I get out for a walk or ride my bike. What to do when living with someone whois continuously snapping at me in anger. He needs help. So do I. Please pray for us. God bless you and thank you Dr Mullen

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