Do we really have to change?

Dr. Grant Mullen Churches and Leadership, I am significant, Live fearlessly, Moods, Relationships, Uncategorized 36 Comments

Comfort zones are so….. comfortable, why rock the boat?

Change happens. It is relentless and unavoidable.

There are 2 kinds of changes that we all have to face sooner or later.

In this week’s video I’ll tell you how I had to face both kinds in the same week. Yes, one involved Kathy and it was tense.

You will paint!

There will be paint!

If you want to live a transformed life you have to know how to deal with change (and spouses).

Just click  on the video and find out how. Then tell me about the most positive change that ever happened in your life. Use the comment section below.

Share the transformed life, send this to a friend.

Don’t forget to answer this week’s polling question, Which change bothers you the most?

Talk to you next week,
Grant Mullen

PS:  Kathy and I were thrown involuntarily into a time of profound change when we hit a marriage crisis. Pain is the greatest motivator to induce change. It sure pushed us into the transformation journey.

In the DVD/CD Our Will, a testimony of healing, Kathy tells the story of how our marriage hit the wall and we were forced to change. We became aware of our personal baggage and how it was interfering with our relationship. In the healing process Kathy realized how her broken will was holding her back from recovery. As God healed her will, and I opened my heart, we were able to dispose of our baggage and restore our marriage. Our experience will show you how to strengthen your own marriage.
For more information click here.

Special offer
You can order Our Will, a testimony of healing, for 30% off until Monday July 5 at 9 am Toronto time. So act now!

Comments 36

  1. The biggest change for me was moving to the city of Hamilton after having lived in a small Ottawa valley farming community for 40 years.It meant leaving friends our church and everything that was familiar to me. My dad HAD DIED AND WE ALSO MOVED MY MOM AS SHE CAME TO LIVE WITH US.tHIS TURNED OUT TO BE THE MOST POSITIVE THING WE COULD HAVE DONE. GOD HAS BLESSED US ABUNDANTLY TIME AND TIME AGAIN.

  2. Biggest change my husband and I have faced was his heart attack in 2001 at age 52….out of the blue! At the time we could only see the negatives (had to quit job, so lots less $, couldn’t do as much as before, etc.) but now he values his “deliverance” from such a demanding job and pace. We love having more time together than most couples our age, as he offices from home. He even cooks dinner lots of times when I have to work late! God turned it all into a blessing.

  3. Well I had to go through a change recently, and it was a negative change which brought on depression, and hopelessness. My husband without talking to me gave up his job. I was devastated, and the only reason he gave was that, he wanted to. We did not discuss it, and he did not come to meet with the idea, he just did it. It’s been a month now and he is trying to go back, but they refuse to accept him back , because of the way he left. Now he sits around staring at the yard, or stays in front of the TV, surfing the box. He no longer reads the word. HELP!!!!!

  4. The most postivie change I ever experienced started in 1993 when I went through Prophetic Deliverance from demonization. It was precipitated by ongoing marital conflict. After the deliverance, I pursued with a vengence God’s healing for the wounds of my soul. As a result, I experienced dramatic changes to my personality and thinking processes. One result was getting a college education. Now I am the director of a ministry of deliverance and inner healing and see others experience transformation.

  5. Mindee, thanks for your comment. Charlene and Katie have both described how negative events eventually brought such blessing into their lives. You are still in the negative time but you can trust God to bring you into a positive change eventually.
    Thanks for being honest.

  6. My most dramatic change since knowing Jesus happened 10 years ago after my niece took her life at the age of 23. She was a brilliant light to all our family with such a promising future. My foundations had become so full of twisted twisted ‘prosperity’ doctrine in the previous 5 years that I just couldn’t accept that anything so earth shattering could possibly happen to someone I had been praying for. The next 2 yrs. didn’t even make a dent in the grief then a car accident stopped my constant striving & doing and I had to physically sit and properly grieve before I could begin to get physically & emotionally better. The hardest part was forgiving God but God was faithful to build a proper foundation in the next 7years with a new church & bible study group. Personal deliverance ministry was a definite catalyst to my recovery. Thanks so much for all you do to spread the news that there truly is healing in Jesus. God bless you.

  7. My greatest change was when I decided to become a Christian and follow Jesus..I began to see myself and others differently. Realizing that God loved me unconditionally and had a plan for my life made me look at myself and others differently. Shortly after I was saved I also got diagnosed with Bi-polar and for many years Satan tried to tell me that I wasn’t saved and God didn’t love me or care for me. Eventually I sought out help from a Christian counsellor whom made me recognize the lies for what they were and helped me understand that:
    nothing can separate me from the love of God! So I guess that there was a change that I did choose to make myself when I allowed God’s love to save me but there was also the change that I did not choose in my mental health which was a difficult and painful process. Both have been paramount in shaping me into the person that I am today and I beleive this is true for us all!!!

  8. My biggest recent change is a move from my own house (which I sold) to a rented apartment. The move has brought me closer to some of my friends and revealed some things about me that I couldn’t see before. I realize there are things I can do without. It hammers home the point that this world, as it is, is not my ultimate dwelling place.

  9. The biggest change in my life came when I entered training for the Presbyterian Ministry and fell to pieces with grief at leaving my nurturing tradition of Open Brethren. I was such a mess that the school paid for me to have 18mths of psychotherapy which proved to be the best change I could have hoped for. It led me to understand and experience how a major childhood grief had left me with a well of grief that wasn’t healthy and led me to be a ‘rescuer’ of anyone who looked sad or seemed to need my help. I’m still a helper as a pastor and minister but from a much healthier place. Dealing with grief from when I was six years old was THE big change for me.

  10. The biggest change for me was leaving my home country of Moldova and moving to the UK. New culture, new people, new language, new religion, etc. It was difficult, but I knew that i had to make an effort in accepting the changes and start learning and making new friends and all. In the process I became a Christian as well. That was a big change for me. Coming from Greek Orthodoxy which was embedded into my very core, changing was a challenge. The Lord revealed Himself to me here in the UK in a wonderful way, but it happened amidst many changes. I think His plans for our lives are full of change. You can not be part of the new things God is doing if you are unwilling to change. Unwillingness or fear of change needs addressing in our lives for sure. Thanks.

  11. BLESSINGS

    JUST BEFORE BEING HIT BY THE TRUCK THE ONE I WAS GOING TO MARRY WAS STRUGGLING WITH PORNOGRAPHY. THE RELATIONSHIP HAD STOOD 11 YEARS. WE WERE WORKING ON TOTAL DELIVERENCE AND GETTING FREE FROM THE EVIL SPIRIT’S HOLD OF PORNOGRAPHY.

    THE ONE I WANTED TO MARRY BEGAN TO FIILL THEIR LIFE WITH MANY JOBS AFTER THEIR DELIVERENCE INSTEAD OF TURNING TO GOD AND FILLING THEIR LIFE UP WITH GOD THEY WANTED TO DO EVERYTHING ON THIER OWN. SO I AM TRYING TO RECOVER FROM THE ACCIDENT AND GET STRONGER AND I HAVE NO SUPPORT OR HELP.

    THE ONE I WAS GOING TO MARRY DECIDED TO SEEK GOD AND LEFT TO DO THIS BUT NEVER CAME BACK.. NOW I AM WOUNDED AND PRAY FOR THEM AND FOR THEIR LIFE TO BE BLESSED. FOR I KNOW THEIR LIFE IS IN GOD’S HANDS AND THE LORD’S WAYS ARE NOT OUR WAYS AMEN.

  12. The biggest change that ever occurred in my life, by far, was encountering the living God. The Father of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. That was thirty-two years ago and it seems like yesterday. I was very angry with God and had given Him the silent treatment for seventeen years. To make a long story short His wonderful, mercy filled grace led this prodigal home. I couldn’t believe it and it has been a trip since. I still have ups and downs like anyone else but they are viewed now through different eyes. Just writing these few comments fills me with joy. Thank you Father, thank you, thank you!

  13. Hello Dr Grant
    At first I did not which track you were heading..suspense..but gave the commentary benefit of the doubt…You were spot on about 2 kinds of change..
    your examples ..were moderate…figuring…that my life has dished out many changes in terms of ‘accommodation’ // let’s see moving house 3 times in a year…to really feel how God prepares us for unexpected change !! I can tell you stories of my life that will have you searching for tranquilisers before you get to the 3rd story.

    It was very good message …irrespective. Thank you.

    Well..my recent change is ‘inner healing’ . Thankfully , together with your and Pastor Steve messages and with having almost completed the Elijah House
    Prayer Ministry Course (A,B,C, to do D) I feel tremendous inner healing in my heart . I was unsure of how God would bring this change in me but through many tears I feel very blessed and grateful for the change of heart and renewal of mind.
    Am still not sure of His plans for me but I will continue to trust and learn more of His ways. Thank you for your support and messages.;
    Be careful…you never know when Kathy might surprise you and decide to repaint the kitchen then the bathroom,,,,and the rest..
    Blessings Denise

  14. I came to Canada twenty years ago.
    At the begining I was so happy and excited about the change, but after the immigration honey moon was over, the changes were so hard to accept.
    Now i am so happy that God walked with me through every single change, because He made me a different person that loves Him and recognize His love for me.
    The first change was voluntary, but the ones that follow were not expected neither planned.

  15. The biggest change in my life was becoming a follower of Jesus Christ, not just a believer. It takes more risk, more energy and more time to be a follower of the Word and it’s radically changed the way I do life. This was a voluntary change and I welcomed it because I didn’t like the person I had become. Although that was a voluntary change, other areas of my life still need changing but I’m having difficulty changing them ie. being less critical of my husband and more loving. Does this mean this is an involuntary area I need to change?

  16. I am still reeling from changes in my life 5 years ago! I am yet to see the full purpose in it all but have had to learn patience and to trust God above all others during this difficult time. I keep quoting “all things are working together for good”. I lost my health (Trigeminal Neuritis from dental work gone wrong leading to 24/7 pain with no relief – called the suicide disease), because of that lost my wonderful position as a practitioner in a clinic, then lost my home as they opened a freeway out the back and we couldn’t sleep at night for the noise!!! Forced to move house
    During this time started to have heaps of deliverances at home and every meeting I went to. (There had been New Age practitioners at the clinic and I had spoken out against them). Have had lots of ministry and made progress but still waiting for complete restoration. It has been a time of almost total isolation and feel I have been in the “furnace of affliction”. One thing I will say is that even tho it has been the worse 5 years of my life I have never been closer to God as I have had to lean on Him and no one else as even the church let me down.

  17. Your video got me thinking about what changes I have experienced over the past four years, and for me the two big ones have been breast cancer in 2006 which changes your thinking on life, you ask yourself what is important in life. At the time my husband and a colleague had started up a real estate office, and after a year of trading and struggling in many areas, we decided that we were better off without the worries of the business, even though we were doing it with a view to retirement fund. Then, later that year God called me to study at Bible College to train as a Counsellor. I am in my third year, and this has brought about a lot of changes for the family and myself. Last year 2009 I had a second diagnosis of breast cancer, and at times I have doubted God’s plan, I have to be honest, but knowing the call came from God, and in obedience to Him, I will not be giving up. I have 1.1/2 years more study to do and then I will finish with a degree.

    I first attended your seminar at the Greenlane Christian Centre in Auckland in my first year. Depression is in my family and I have a brother who has suffered for many years. I just feel at a loose end with him, he isolates himself from the family and now his second marriage has broken up. I’m angry, but I pray that God will continue to work in his life, and that he will come through this. The hard bit is lost relationship and the ripple effect throughout the families involved.

    Enjoyed your video on change, thanks for your email.

    Angela Futter

  18. Wow what awesome testimonies, thanks everyone for sharing your stories. My biggest change came over years of receiving healing form deep wounds from family and spiritual abuse. It took a long time before the very deeply buried root of shame surfaced. I grew up in a Christian home but there was a lot of abuse in the privacy of home, even rape, Dad walking out and having affairs on and off. The shame was from us presenting to be a Christian home but Dad in particular failing to deal with his inner hurts and wounds. Now I love ministering to broken and wounded people. Also Holy Spirit puts on my heart to stand in the gap and apologize to ladies for the abuse they have received from men in their life. Many say it is very powerful and healing to them. Hurting people hurt others and healed people heal others.

  19. Dear Grant

    As you pointed out in your talk change is hard. I feel the hardest change that I had was when my son and I moved back to Ontario from out west. I was a single parent and living with my mom was challenging at times. But she was getting older and the family was going to have to put her into the nursing home if I didn’t so I did. Unfortunately this was very unfair for my son because he was 11 years old. Moving from Saskatoon to Markdale, a very small place.

    Thanks for your articles.

    Yours truly
    Wilda Cresswell

  20. I believe the greatest change in my life came in two parts….(1)The greatest and most wonderful change in my life is when I accepted the Lord Jesus Christ into my heart and into my existing life. I was a very young girl when this occurred in my life. Throughout my following years, I walked with the Lord, learning more and more about Him, and desiring an even deeper fellowship with HIM. This is when my second life-changing experience came to me…..I was in my mid 40’s at this time, and yearning for more of God.The Holy Spirit led me into receiving His Spiritual Baptism, which is a second step into living a life of Glorious communion and intimacy with our Heavenly Father, through His Son, Yeshua, by His Holy SPIRIT. I Love Yaweh , with all my heart,

  21. Dr. Grant Mullen I have had to change my attitude about everything as a result of Lung cancer and a total hip replacement due to arthritis. I am able to tell you that Doctor Jesus The Son Of God, will always be my number one doctor. He was with me through it all. So I traded a lung for a hip. Change you say, change and everything else is small stuff. I had two major surguries in a year and a half, now I am ready for a fabulous rest of my life. Oh yes also rheumatoid arthritis, I figure I have had my three, the rest is dance and sing time, and I am doing it. I like this scripture: ” Wake up sleeper, rise from death, and Christ will shine on you.” Bye now Novena.

  22. These are such inspiring stories of God’s faithfulness through all kinds of changes. Thanks for being so honest and for sharing them with us. You never know how your story will touch someone else going through a dark valley. We have room for lots more!

  23. Hi Grant, Wow your are so right about change and the hardest of change is the invollentary change. But I have found that that change is where you meet God in all His splender. Although we do not want to be in the place we sometimes are, our Father in Heaven always shows us that He is with us even through the hardest times. I have found that when ever invollentary change happens the best sollution is to run to God, and He is alway ready to help us to adjust to the changes which are happening in our live’s. Thanks for the insights.. God Bless you

    Ken Doherty

  24. Your message touched on my ongoing struggle and inability to embrace change. I can’t say I’m good at it but I’m trying. At this point, I’m simply resigned to all the involuntary changes that have taken place in my life. I know I need to stop looking back but I don’t see much to look forward to either. Yup, I’m sad. Thanks Dr. Mullen.

  25. Death, taxes, change, and God’s unfailing love…these are the four ‘constants’ that I have found in life.
    Change is inevitable and vital. Extinction can come by at least two means; by not changing with your environment, and by being too smart for your own good. Beware of ignorance, and embrace humility.
    I believe the battles and victories over change builds the character James writes about. To me, life is about tests; the tests we are meant to fail are from The Accuser, the tests we are meant to pass are form God, the rest are just life’s tests. Jonah shows that our God is a God of second (and many more) chances. Fail the first? Try the second…
    I also believe that God is conditioning us in our lives to prepare us for the life we will have when we are off this third rock, just like our parents conditioned us for our adulthood. I make sure I count my blessings and not my burdens–>I enjoy change every morning a lot more than being surrounded by flowers and smelling embalming fluid…
    Bless all,
    john senske
    (Rom. 12:11-12) Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer. (NIV)

  26. Dear Grant,
    Thanks for sharing the new problem that has affected you in having to paint the bedroom

    I think I mentioned to you that Chris my husband’s Company MK airlines made all the staff redudant suddenly. God had opened the door for a job at MK in May 2000, we had to move very quickly from Zimbabwe, as I was given several Scriptures confirming the job in the UK. Now everyone has been made redundant and still have not received salaries for March and April though the still worked, or redundancy pay as yet. I had to lean on Our Lord Jesus , and my two daughters, my sister and mother-in-law helped us and a couple of friends supplied a few food vouchers etc. I also had to give in my notice as a cleaner at a Doctor’s Surgery so that Chris will receive his full Pension Credits as he is 64 next month. I do admit I was pleased to give up the cleaning but enjoyed the people I worked with , and as I kept them informed of every situation they stood by me,so I was very blessed.

    God did promise that we would prosper, and many times wondered why life was so hard here in the UK especially finding a job at my age, after working in an office I was now cleaning, but I was fine with that as I felt I could not work in an office again. I struggled with depression even more so when I found we had to spend money on redecorating a Council Flat and restoring the garden which was just weeds etc. I could not understand why. To cut the story short, I have tried to pay off a loan etc in my own strength, and finally have given all my finances into God’s hands, so I took it to the cross, as I was unable to solve the situation.

    There have been Court cases on the money owed to employees and other Creditors which are still on going,

    I can only thank God that I can lean on Him and try to spend time with Him as much as I can, as I long to have His presence back in my life for God to show me all the areas that I need to deal with , example trying to do everything in a hurry, Also the pain I get from severe tension at times. so now I have to trust in the Lord to help me through all this.

    Thanks again Grant I hope my explanation was not too long.

    God Bless Gayle

  27. Thanks Gayle. You are in a time of involuntary change. As you can see from all the other testimonies, God is faithful to take us through any valley. Glad you are still trusting him.

  28. A difficult but voluntary change was going for counselling along with taking medication for counselling.
    Through cutting off generational sins, healing hurts and memories, cutting off ungodly soul ties and ungodly beliefs, I saw my value through God’s eyes and stopped people pleasing/codependancy.
    I lost my husband through this… yet I am free of the unbearable oppression and tension that was present in my life before.
    God is good – and until He takes me home, I’ll keep being willing to undergo “heart surgery” and healing where He deems necessary for me to do the best He’s already purposed for my life.
    Hang in there in the tough times, fellow travellers!!
    And Grant, here’s hoping you didn’t have to cut in the upper corners of the ceiling during the heat while painting …

  29. Hi Grant. Good for you for embracing change… I am sure you are delighted with the outcome, as I am sure Cathy is too! ; )

    The most positive change happened in my life at a point when our marriage was, as far as I was concerned, done & dusted. It was at this time that I agreed to meet with a friend of the family. As I sat across from this man who had no ‘credentails’ in the field of counselling but loved God and loved people, I found myself weeping as he described my inner turmoil and the desperate void that I felt inside. He told me of God’s love for me and how Jesus had given His life so that I would be reconciled to my Heavenly Father. He led me in a prayer as I asked for forgiveness and asked God to take my life and help me live for Him. This gentleman then showed me through God’s word (the Bible) that God had ordained marriage even before the church. God met me in a desperate place that day and I was totally transformed…

    That was 32 years ago Grant. And He has always continued to show Himself faithful… through the highs and through the lows… through burnout and depression and all that life has thrown at us. Bob & I have grown closer and closer through the hardships and the blessings…celebrating 35 years of marriage this past May 24th. God’s faithfulness is a sure thing in times of great uncertainties.

    Bless you for being a light in the darkness!

    Nicole

  30. God 3 yrs ago moved me and simon my husband out of a city of Bath england to devon seaside, wa hard because i get pannick travelling but made it on my medication lol. God knew id be ok ps grant have said hi on ur facebook

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