What might have been… the missed call

Dr. Grant Mullen Churches and Leadership, I am significant, Live fearlessly, Moods, Relationships, Uncategorized 31 Comments

Do you ever beat yourself up over missed opportunities thinking about what might have been?

Admit it, we’ve all done it. We’ve laid awake thinking, if only I had…

In this week’s video I’ll tell you how that happened to me. How a handbag came between me and a mysterious phone call.

Authorized personnel only!

Authorized personnel only!

To live a transformed life you must know how to deal with regrets.

Just click  on the video and I’ll tell you what happened that night.

Then go to the comment section below and tell me of a situation in your life that seemed like a missed opportunity but God turned to your benefit.

Share the transformed life, send this to a friend.

Don’t forget to answer this week’s polling question, If you hadn’t missed the opportunity, you could have been..?

Talk to you next week,
Grant Mullen

Comments 31

  1. This video was perfect timing for me. We’ve been looking for a house for months and I didn’t get one, even though I loved it, because I thought I should give it up for another opportunity. Everyday I’ve been regretting it, but I have to realize that God is in control and I’m just wasting energy stewing over it.

  2. My blood pressure has been very high so this message was a good reminder to me
    to let go of things that have gone wrong in the past and trust God for the future and also to remember that God does not keep a black book of wrongs!

  3. This message was very timely for me to hand all my regrets over ot Jesus! I wanted to serve in the Church in a support role giving up my current well-paid job. I was too over-qualified for the position and so felt disappoiinted that I wasn’t suitable. Never mind! I can serve Christ at my current job for a few more years yet before retirement!

  4. My whole life since 1992 has been far too many regrets and I to can’t sleep for stewing about what I shpould have done. I trust this video will help me to trust God.

  5. Your comment about no regrets reminded me of a wonderful encounter I had with the Lord more than 20 years ago. I was up at my parents’ summer cottage on a northern lake, sitting on a huge boulder by the shore. I had my new chain reference Bible in my hand, intending to read it by the lake.

    But as I sensed the presence of Jesus with me, it was as if he took that Bible out of my hands and inscribed something on the flyleaf. It was simply, “NO REGRETS.”

    I have often pondered what he meant by that. Did he mean, “I have no regrets about dying for you”? Or did he mean that I, who gave my life to him at the age of 30, should have “no regrets” now over my past, which was redeemed by his blood? Or maybe “no regrets” over anything going forward?

    I think the answer to each of my questions is, “yes.”

  6. The Holy Spirit has lead me through surrender into really trusting God with my life. I can feel the difference in my spirit. I now approach life with such an inner calm KNOWING that God always has my best interests in mind, that He WILL work all things to good in my life and I really trust in that.
    There is also a scripture that helped me and it says to be anxious for NOTHING. Whenever I have experienced something that made me start to feel anxious I would say this scripture in my head, knowing that God’s best for me is not to be anxious and to cast my worries to Him. I consistently approached anxiety and worry with little prayers that lead to bigger ones that freed me of those things.
    I love the analogy of a car that you are driving in with God. We try so much to be in control of our lives by driving our own car, we resist letting God do the driving so we can sit back and trust Him to drive so we can enjoy the scenery. It is how He intended for us to live but it requires trust and surrender on our part.
    I have had tragedy in my life, but more important than the story is where I have arrived and the tools God showed me to get me here, so I hope this will “pay it forward” in some small way. God meant us for relationship, to reach out and love each other as we love ourselves and once we can really start to do it, the blessings are endless!

  7. We spend so much of our lives stewing about the future and having regrets about the past. Neither makes any difference but we all do it! These are all great comments as God speaks to each of us about our own lives.

  8. Thank-you for these short little video clips. They are so encouraging. I have wasted so much time beating myself up,but I am so thank-ful that his grace is sufficient. Little by little He has taught me how to recognize the enemy’s tactic’s, and to know that He is there always loveing me thru things. Thank- you so much foryour encouraging words.

  9. My sister and I did attend your seminar at Christian College Warrimoo and purchased you DVD’s we have’nt started the group with family concerned however I am working on it. The DVD’s we got are very helpful and have meaning.
    Thank you

    I don’t have any regrets this far. Not big one’s that will keep me awake. Saw the video thanks.
    Teresa Strach formally (Martin)

  10. I moved out of my house about five years ago and rented it out to buy a condo which was much easier for me to look after at my stage in life. This has worked out well for me up until recently as I’m having difficulty renting the house and it’s a lot of work to keep it maintained etc.

    Not too long ago, I had a phone call out of the blue from my neighbour next door to my former house who said he was interested in buying the property. I told him I was not interested in selling but I’m wondering if I shouldn’t have taken him up on his offer. Is God trying to tell me that I need to sell by making it difficult to rent? This neighbour has probably bought another property by now and the market is gearing down. I’m concerned that I missed God’s opportunity to sell.

  11. I have had some regrets over my life and I have stewed about them at night, staying up all night and often wondering what could have been. But now I realize that even though I may have made some mistakes along the way, God is teaching me how to lean on Him more and less on myself and to learn from my mistakes. It’s been comforting to know that every choice we make has been for our good (even though it may not feel like that at the time). Thanks for your messages, they are very inspiring!!!

  12. Hi Grant, hello from Australia! (You met me in Bendigo in May).

    I find it hard not to beat myself up at the moment, because one of our friends, whom we had lost contact with over the last year, commited suicicde last week. We are going to his funeral tomorrow. From what people are saying about him, I’m quite certain he suffered from major depression, but it doesn’t appear that anyone had picked up on it and gotten him to a doctor. I feel extremely sad that we hadn’t kept in contact with him, and I wish I would have been able to help him. It makes me even more certain that the message you are bringing, Grant, is just so important, and may we as individuals and church communities be able to help those in need. May we be able to save many people from Satan’s snare!

    I really do wish Brian Houston would invite you to Hillsong – it would be amazing to bring this message to such a large audience!

  13. A very timely message for where I am at the moment. I have been feeling that doing Pastoral Care work is where I believe God is calling me, but after a meeting a few days ago it looks like it is not going to happen in the short term. Circumstances and and my financial situation seem to be telling me the timing is not right and yet I still believe the door will open.

  14. A soar spot for me has been in the area of employment. Recently I was invited to apply for a job in a Christian environment; yippee! Just to be asked brought some healing to this wounded heart. Well, months went by and they gave it to someone in their internal employ. But God used those months to sort through my feelings of inadequacy and finally resolve that even if I didn’t get it, it would be OK. Incidently, the lady who did is far more suited for the position than I. It’s totally amazing how God heals. Thanks for prompting me to share this victory today.

  15. Yesterday, I met a woman standing by an outdoor shopping centre exit. She was holding a sign that said she needed money for food. It was an incredibly hot day and as I waited at a traffic stop light, I was concerned that she might collapse from dehydration. I grabbed the only thing I had to give her and that was a bottle of water and a soft drink. I told her that I had no cash on me, yet she was grateful. After driving away, I kept thinking how desperate she had to have been to be standing there like that on such a hot day and felt that she could not be a scam artist. I took a detour and went to my bank, withdrew some money and headed back to the mall to see if she was still there. She was there. I parked the car and proceeded to where she was standing. She told me about her situation and it was serious and complicated. I could see that the money I had to give her would meet such as small need. She needed financial help beyond anything I could possibly do for her. Instead of feeling good about the opportunity God had given me to help this woman that day, and that I hadn’t missed it, I was tormented by what seemed for this woman and her family a hopeless situation. I took it to God in prayer, but I kept thinking about how could I possibly help this woman. I became so focussed on how could I help in my own strength instead of recognizing that I can’t do anything in my own strength for anyone, much myself and that everything was in God’s strength. I hadn’t sensed God wanted me to take it further than giving this woman a drink. Perhaps he did want me to help her somewhat financially, but I know that he did not want me to take on the burden of her problems. When I had queried her, she told me in great detail the extent of her situation that I just wanted to stand there and cry with her. For hours after, the details of her desperate situation went around and around in my head searching for possible solutions to her problems. I continually tried to pray about it and leave in God’s hands and before I could finish the prayer, my mind was back to going over and over everything she had told me leaving me in an unsettled and unhealthy state. I knew God didn’t intend me to be in this state of mind, but knowing that still didn’t give me release. Finally, I was able to give it over to Him and trust in Him for this situation. Only, then did I feel the release of this burden. Praise God!

  16. You say do not have regrets. God is in control. Where is the encouragement or testamonies of how missed opportunities worked out for good?????????

  17. I had an elderly friend who was in the hospital for months before his death and I was going to go to visit him on a Saturday,but I changed my mind and decided to go on Tuesday of the next week. I received a call Monday morning that he had passed away and even though I had gone to visit 6 days before he died I still wished that I had gone on Saturday.

  18. Wow! I can’t keep up with all the great comments and testimonies.
    It’s amazing how God works out small and big details in our lives, thanks for sharing.
    Barbara asked a good question. We’d love to hear more stories of how God turned a missed opportunity into good. Let’s hear them.

    Yes, I’m still waiting for Brian Houston to call.

  19. I have a few regrets about the past. Things that I actually did which I wish I hadn’t. I said things to loved people which I wish I hadn’t. It used to make me very upset just remembering them. I prayed about it, and then prayed some more, and then some more because it was not going away. but then after praying and praying, it finally died. Now I feel so much better about those things. When you prayed about something and it did not work, then pray some more. Eventually, with enough prayer, it will overcome the barier like a big wave.

  20. I did something years ago that I regret.
    I was talking with a man at church who rarely came and was going thru a very rough marriage. He was talking with me and was in tears, I felt that I needed to talk with him more to speak to his heart as Jesus would have done.
    I was requested by the youth pastor to take photos of the youth and they were ready for me, I had to leave this man in his broken state and told him I would be back shortly. I felt bad that I had to leave but I had made a committment to the youth pastor. I went back to see him within 20 mins and he was gone, he left the church. I did not see him at church anymore and felt bad that he left that day.

    I found out years later his marriage did break up and he was on his own.
    I met him last year when we went into a store he was a salesman at. He helped us and before I left I asked him to forgive me for leaving him years earlier at the church. He started to tear up and then put his arms around me and said of course brother I forgive you, it was an emotional moment. He said he just felt that church was not what he needed over the last few years and he is ok now.

    I wonder, could I have helped him to keep his marriage/family together? Only God knows the answer and his heart. I just gave him to God and said please take care of him and his family.

  21. So many times I have walked by a homeless person only to feel guilty why I didn’t stop and offer money or talk with them. I look back at all the missed opportunities, but only to fear what other people would say if they saw me with a homeless person. A few weeks back I was picking up my son from Union Station who was returning from Montreal. While it was a very busy day in the afternoon and traffic was crazy I continued on my way with my son as we chatted while being stuck in traffic. I noticed a homeless person coming towards our car while we were not moving in traffic and I feared the worst. I thought immediately to lock my doors and close the windows, but then I remembered what about the times I shut so many out at the time they needed me? I surprised myself as the young man came closer to my car and I had noticed that no one he had already passed bothered with him. I didn’t want to miss this opportunity, so I opened my window and I said “I have no money, but how would you like a chocolate croissant and some mini pizza’s fresh out of the oven”? At first I thought he would raise his hand and say NO but as he responded he said “thank you” and he was off to the next car behind me. My son looked rather surprised at me wondering what had I just done, as I would never have done this before. He turned to me and said “mom, that was a nice thing you did”. I said sorry I gave away your sweets today but I think he needed them more than you did today. I had been watching him in my rear view mirror to see where he was and what he was doing with the goodies I had handed to him thinking he would have just thrown them out, but instead there he sat looking into the bag as if it was his first new toy and began to eat. I shed a tear but I felt that was the least I could do for someone who needed something.

    We are all God’s children and we are brothers and sisters in Christ, and I need to remember that even though there were times when I feared homeless people, I thought if Jesus walked this earth and shared his good news then why could I not share something that was good too!

    My point, I would have missed the opportunity if I had just turned away, but remembered that Christ didn’t turn me away, so why should I. We are all here for a reason and I thank God that he has placed you here right now.

    God bless you greatly,

  22. I regret so much not having the wisdom that I have gained today to use in the past. I have forgiven myself and understood that God used my past failures to shape a compassionate heart in me and a strong character. I have more insight now and having those past memories are like a thorn in the flesh that requires a steady flow of His grace. God makes the best lemonade with the lemons of our lives.

  23. After years of being a Christian and going through inner healing, and the Lord turning around my regrets into His glory, including changing my character into what He wanted, I read a Brennan Manning book & in it he said he had a nun friend who had a banner in her bedroom, it stated “I will not should on myself today”, so just today a thought popped into my mind, about a situation pretaining to your video, “I should have planned my life differently, & I immediately thought “I will not should on myself today”, I hope this helps someone like it has helped me when a negative thought comes to my mind. One testimony in my life is, once I had everything money could buy, but, through choices and regrets, I do not have alot of money now, however, the Lord has changed my perspective of “having everything” and has given me faith to believe that He supplies all of my needs & blesses me tremendously, and He has given me integrity and peace and contentment that money could not buy. Thank you, Dr. Mullen for this video and all of your teachings.

  24. I think of all the people who missed their opportunity to get to work on time, on 911. It was definately used for good! It saved their lives. Most of the time we don’t notice what is being prepared for a good purpose and plan!

  25. How can I begin to count the “missed opportunities” that have come to me ?
    I especially regret the many times I should have shared the Love of Jesus with people who needed to hear how to receive His plan of salvation……Sometimes, I was given a “second chance”….and that took care of the regret I felt in my heart. However, the thing I think that torments me at times, is the regret of being too busy to spend time with my parents, and husband, but especially my children. Thank God that He affords us a second chance to turn that around …..with GRANDCHILDREN !
    I thank My Heavenly Father that He gives us a chance to redeem ourselves (after we repent !) when we fail to meet many challenges that come our way.
    We can put those “regrets” to rest……and rest asurred that He can turn our lost opportunities and regrets into even better ones !
    God is so good !

  26. yeah, I worry too much about my choices and then I miss out on life because I’m too busy going over my decisions. I need to remember that God is in control

  27. When I think back on missed opportunities it seems so easy to sit back and live with regret. I have missed a chance to see my sister before she passed away but I’m glad to have seen her just a few days before that time. I am thankful for God’s mercy and grace that he provides in such times.

    Diane

  28. Where do I start?
    Since being a young child all I ever wanted to be was a teacher; but when I finally received my degrees and my teaching certificate there was only one thing missing. Somewhere to teach.

    This has always left me with regrets. If I’d studied harder, if I’d gotten my Masters in Education maybe my life would have been the “perfect” life I always wanted.

    In the past little while I’ve come to realize some things, in my head if not yet in my heart.

    As a teacher, with not being able to discipline children, not having the respect of either the children or their parents, I would have been increasingly miserable. With the permissiveness that abounds in our society, teaching would not be a career that would have fulfilled my hopes and dreams. My “perfect”life would never have been a reality as things stand now.

    I’m in a position where I’m a valued employee. The patient’s we have esteem my personality and sense of humour. I realize I am in the position and am placed by my God to be where I am. I may feel more like the little candle rather than the flame I would have liked to have been, but God only expects me to shine where I am to the best of my ability. If God expects that of me why should I expect more?

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